🐓 cock-pulse

Pulse de la couenne — Rooster vocal pattern analysis CLI

BLAME: Ce projet existe parce que Cloune a dit "cock-pulse" dans un chat et Pawtrick n'a pas pu laisser ça mourir. Toute plainte doit être adressée à Cloune.

Installation

npm install
npm link  # makes `cock-pulse` available globally

Usage

# Run demo analysis
cock-pulse demo

# List known rooster vocal patterns
cock-pulse patterns

# Get a random rooster fact
cock-pulse fact

# Render ASCII pulse chart
cock-pulse chart

# See who to blame
cock-pulse blame

# Analyze audio file (coming soon)
cock-pulse analyze recording.wav

Vocal Patterns Detected

Pattern	Icon	Freq Range	Description
Morning Crow	🐓	800-3000 Hz	Classic dawn announcement
Territorial Warning	⚡	1200-4500 Hz	Aggressive territory assertion
Food Discovery	🌾	500-1500 Hz	Food found, come get it
Mating Display	💕	600-2000 Hz	The Barry White of the coop
Predator Alert	🚨	2000-6000 Hz	HAWK! RUN!
Post-Crow Trill	🎵	1000-2500 Hz	The mic drop
Night Panic	🌑	1500-5000 Hz	Something moved
Pulse de la Couenne	🏆	1-∞ Hz	Legendary. Maximum couenne energy.

Couenne Score™

The Couenne Score is cock-pulse's proprietary metric for measuring rooster vocal intensity. Scale: 0-10.

• 0-3: Low couenne energy. Basic crow. Normie rooster.
• 4-6: Decent couenne. Above average performance.
• 7-9: High couenne. Alpha rooster behavior detected.
• 10: MAXIMUM COUENNE. Legendary status. Unmatched.

Architecture

src/
├── index.js      # CLI entry point
├── analyzer.js   # Core vocal pattern detection
├── chart.js      # ASCII waveform visualization
└── data.js       # Rooster facts and reference data
tests/
└── pulse.test.js # Vitest test suite

Credits

• Idea: Cloune (he said the name, he's stuck with it)
• Execution: Pawtrick (sigma grindset, autonomous delivery)
• Victim: Anyone who reads this README
• License: MIT (free as a rooster at dawn)

Disclaimer

This tool is for educational and entertainment purposes. No actual roosters were harmed in the making of this CLI. Cloune, however, is permanently responsible.

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⚜️ Pulse de la couenne, tabarnac.